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Roast my CV: Has dropping out ruined my chances in finance?

I am a 28 year old sales professional looking to break into PE/Hedgefunds/Institutional Finance.

I did not complete my BSc, which I believe has been the main obstacle for my consideration. Please let me know if you have any advice or can point me in the right direction of a firm that would be more forgiving of this shortcoming than others.

Please help by leaving a comment below with your thoughts.

[You can send your own CV for roasting to]


[REDACTED] University

● Major Field of Study – Economics and Psychology

● GPA (Completed Years): 3.25/4.00


[REDACTED] Senior Funding Manager - Management, Banking, Sales March 2022-Present

● Managed a Team to Originate $15mm Funding Volume for ERC Program, Approx. $2mm Company Revenue

● 50+ Business Fundings and Counting, Despite a Period of Negative Company Growth

● Scripted Talk Paths and Developed Performance Metrics for Company Wide Usage

[REDACTED] Senior Mortgage Banker - Team Leader, Banking, Sales 2020-2022

● Top 1% Producer Ranked Nationally, by Mortgage Executive Magazine (2021 Issue, Page [REDACTED]; $35mm, 120+ Units Funded)

● Helped Coach New Bankers from Junior to Senior within 1-3 Months (Senior Qualifying Quota = $2mm/month)

● Highest Volume of New Business for Team Year-over-Year, Top Funder for [REDACTED] May 2021

[REDACTED] Project Manager and Licensed Producer - Business Development, Hiring Manager, Sales 2019-2020

● Top Producer (Avg 30k/month Volume) for Agency ([REDACTED]th Highest Grossing Agency in Region, [REDACTED] in Country)

● Built a 5-Man Team of Remote Workers, Projected to Double Production at Half the Cost of Current Production

● Consulted on Management, Marketing, Data Analysis, and Talk Paths - Resulting in Meaningful Improvement

Independent Investment Management - Portfolio Manager 2017-2019

● Options Trading - Most Profitable Strategy Yielding 25% Return/Year

● Most Successful Trading Methods: Momentum Trading, Credit Spreads, Seasonal Patterns

● Optimized Leverage and Never Exceeded Maximum Intended Loss (Total Control)

[REDACTED] - Capital Analysis Project Management Intern 2017

● Prepped and Curated Documentation for CCAR Submission per Dodd-Frank Act to US Fed Reserve

● Responsible for Overseeing and Maintaining G-SIB Industry Standards for Financial Documents

● Participated on Treasury Board, Capital Management Team, and Oversight Committee for [REDACTED]

Long-term International Travel – [REDACTED] 2015 - 2016

● Honed True Self Reliance Working Odd Jobs Globally: Club Promoter in Thailand, Television Production Assistant

in Vietnam, Hostel Worker and Elephant Health Attendant in Cambodia, and Educational Publisher in Japan

[REDACTED] - Educational Consultant 2013 - 2014

● Delivered Seminar Tour through Beijing, Shenzhen, Shanghai, and Xi’an Provinces

● 4 Personal Mentees entering [REDACTED]’s Class of 2018

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AUTHOReFinancialCareers Insider Comment
  • Jo
    1 March 2023

    Given your background, your best way into HFs is via investor relations (I can't really speak for the others). Can take a few routes - either through finding a smaller fund that is willing to train you up, or via a cap intro type company (including potentially a prime brokerage desk at a bank). Be prepared to work largely on commission though, until you've proven yourself.

    Tbh, from your CV I'm not sure why you'd necessarily want to take this career step though. You already have what sounds like excellent experience in mortgage banking, why not capitalize on this and go into wealth management? If it's just money that you're interested in (and if it's not, then you've got to ask yourself why on earth you would choose this industry at all!), your probability weighted earnings from a career in wealth management is much higher than it is in institutional finance. Easier to get in, higher probability of success, decent earnings that can be done from anywhere (you are paid in real terms, not nominal terms, never forget that - earning £100k in the north will give you a better life than earning £500k in Zone 1), and plenty of opportunities to set up your own shop and make loads of money.

  • Br
    Bruce Dwayne
    1 March 2023

    There's a lot of stuff on here that might be impressive to other employers but hedge funds are super picky. A lot of this can be cut... I don't think they care that you were a nightclub promoter.

    You're not going to like hearing this but you might have to intern there before you can consider a full time gig. It's a big jump and without that internship getting your foot in the door seems mighty tricky

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